I crouched by the door, legs coiled, prepared to sprint the moment it opened. I’m 38 years old, long past prime speed, but this is a foot race with over a thousand dollars on the line: a one vs one race, man vs machine, a spiritual sequel to John Henry’s contest with the steam drill. I was going to outrun the subway.
The money on the line was for charity. I was raising money for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital that year, but had only managed to raised about half of the promised $10k. The clock was ticking, the deadline looming large. If I didn’t raise enough I was personally responsible for the the difference.
How does one raise money for the Marathon? Easy: you hit up their network on social media. Problem is my social network is basically inundated with runners, many of them seeking donations. I needed a way to stand out in a sea of other worthy runners and causes. One night while doom scrolling FB, I saw a guy outrun the subway between two stops. Voila, I had my publicity stunt; moreover it had everything: running, competition, and a foe that I personally can’t stand.
The MBTA
Why the MBTA sucks
- It accounts for 94% of all light rail accidents in the US.
- Recently a train left the Braintree station with no driver.
- An orange line train caught fire causing a woman to jump from the flaming car into the Mystic river.
Furthermore it’s slow: 93 out of 152 entrants in The Charlie Card challenge (a 6.6 mile unsanctioned road race against the Train) outran the Green line bw Boston College and Park street. In Boston it is faster to run than take the T.
Additionally, when the train really malfunctions it’s ALWAYS 2 degrees, windy, snowing, sleeting, and you’re bone tired at the end of the day; ‘Next Train in 5’ always means 10 and when you’re running late there’s inevitably a disabled train, or a police action at Kendall to slow you down.
Their slogan should be,The MBTA: reliably unreliable.
I’m going to outrun the Subway
But where, The green line? Bitch please. The green line, as shown above, is not a worthy opponent. I’ve outrun the B and C line during long runs; not a feat worthy of donations.
I needed a bigger challenge.
I mentioned it to my client Ted early Thursday.
‘The Redline. Now THAT would be the challenge.’
‘Yeah. Trick is to find the right stops. The longer you go the tougher it gets for you.’
‘Downtown Crossing to Park street. Could be done.’
He agreed, but it would be tough. The redline moves relatively fast.
Several times that week I timed the interval between doors opening at Downtown and closing at Park street. :89 seconds on average. In :89 seconds I would have to:
- Exit the doors
- Run up the escalator
- Negotiate a tight, crowded corner,
- Run through the turnstiles,
- Ascend two more flights of stairs
- Run .16 mile slightly uphill while navigating snow banks, black ice, and pedestrians before crossing Tremont street.
A Test of Fate
Crossing Tremont can take :89 seconds. Traffic would have to break right. Then:
- Through a set of doors and around a TIGHT corner
- descend three flights of steep stairs
- slide through the turnstile (pray my card works on the first try)
- turn 180 degrees on a crowded corner
- descend another two (narrower) flights of stairs
- and finally board the train
:89 seconds to basically run a .25 mile obstacle course. In my youth I could easily run a quarter mile (no obstacles) in under 60; then again I was no longer a youth.
In conclusion: It could be done.
The stakes
This was more than a race; it was a means to raise money for a great cause, meanwhile exacting vengeance for all the breakdowns, police actions, disabled trains and mean workers that have vexed me over the years. I was lowly David trying to bloody the lip of the almighty Goliath that is the MBTA.
It would by no means be easy given that I could slip on ice, slam into pedestrians, drop my T pass, get hit by a car, get stopped by cars, the MBTA police, or just plain run too slow.
Be that as it may, I decided to go for it.
RACE DAY jitters
My Train approached Downtown; I nervously timed how long the doors remained open. :09 seconds at JFK. :15 at Andrew. :20 at Broadway. :09 at South Station. A longer stop undoubtedly helps; the longer two (:15 and :20) coming on crowded platforms.
Finally, my car pulled into Downtown. There was NO ONE on the platform.
And we’re off
The doors opened; I had :89 seconds.
I charged out the gate, flew up the stairs and right into my first roadblock: construction blocked the shortest path to the turnstiles, hence a 10 yard detour. I covered the extra yardage, sped through the turnstiles, up another set of stairs and right into roadblock #2: a pedestrian. She moved left, I moved right, we nearly collided, I somehow slide past unimpeded.
Now a straightaway sprint. Winter street and it’s 1-2% uphill grade has never registered as a hill until now. This slightest of inclines abates my speed. I’m breathing hard as I reach Tremont. Traffic here could seal my fate; I glance right and find no cars. I charge full steam across the street and open the doors to Park street station.
The Finishing Kick
Sprint down the stairs, but don’t trip. Next the gate; I slide my Charlie card and nothing happens: the gate remains closed. I panic; slide the card again; this time the gate separates.
Run two steps, then turn 180 degrees. The final stairwell. It’s narrow, only room for one commuter at a time. If anyone blocks my path I can’t slip by. I turn the corner, look down, and to my relief the way is clear. The train waits at the bottom of that staircase. I hear beeping and the hydraulic hiss of the doors; it’s preparing to leave. I bound down the steps, lunge across the platform and…
Victory for the Running Man.
Total time running- :84.
I ride the train one more stop. My breathing is heavy, my throat stings; a dry rasping cough is a souvenir for running hard in the dry winter weather. I can’t stop smiling.
Ten years later I remember it surprisingly well. My final memory, most importantly, is of EXTREME GRATITUDE. The stunt worked, adding over a thousand dollars to my St. Jude fund raising. The kind words and the even kinder donations made for an AWESOME week. Thanks again to all who donated. I can’t say how much every donation means for St. Jude Children’s research Hospital; or, how great you made me feel.
THANK YOU!
Now the peanut gallery is challenging me to run between Downtown and Charles/MGH stations. I’m already ahead of you:
- 2 stops
- 4 minutes 19 seconds
- .84 miles bw stops.
I can cover that in a little under 4.
On your marks…